If there could be a Utopian world for me, I would like to have the possibility to combine living with the family and some periods of being on my own. The ideal life of a gypsy woman.
I have always been a perfect couch potato.
I was the epitome of a lazy Bong woman, happy with my books and rather sedentary lifestyle. At school, nobody wanted me in a sports team and sport’s day was something I had deep-seated dread for. For good reason, I had accepted the fact that the sports gene had not been handed over to me and I was very complacent about keeping myself moving or fit.
You know what’s funny?
Too many (Indian) women of our generation never had the opportunity to live on our own. We went from living with our parents to living with our husband’s families or with our husbands.
Love, lust, and passion - these are some of the most hushed up topics of our lives; yet some of the most dominant ones as well because of how taboo they are. When was the last time you talked about passion and sex the same way you talk about setting goals for your life or your fitness levels?
Imagine filling your life with work, family, and children for a good twenty years. You spend these years, absorbed by your responsibilities, juggling them effortlessly (on most days!) and just when you you think you’re beginning to get a hang of it all, it’s time for another change.
This change is a lot more quiet, and sometimes, disconcerting.
Let me tell you a secret.
When I was a kid, I’d always wanted to have a photoshoot done for myself - you know the kinds that models have? That one.
I think as teenagers in India, so many of us had these little fantasies of becoming actors or models, but I must admit I was a bit more glamour-struck than many others. I would pore over magazines like Filmfare, Cine Blitz etc., trying out different outfits and looks and deluding myself to believe that some director/producer was going to discover me one fine day.
So, I just came across a meme on social media the other day that said this:
“I’d rather eat pizza and drink wine than be a size zero.”- Sophia Loren
Most men responding to this post went gaga about how they like women where there’s something to grasp, how they like the kind of bodies that were depicted in our temples, how only women with love handles are the ones who can be called women.
Then there are memes that say things like “You’re fat. Don’t sugarcoat it, cause you’ll eat that too.”
Do you ladies remember being 18? Right after we finished our high school examination, we felt this feeling of - trepidation? - that made us feel like we’re standing at crossroads.
Before that point, we’d been told umpteen times that this is a crucial point in our lives where we’d have to take a major decision as far as our career/professional lives are concerned - doctor, engineer, or any other higher education in fields that were usually chosen by our parents or even preparing ourselves for getting married.
When was the last time you dressed up? Just for yourself? I want to walk you through two different incidents that occurred recently.
Have you sometimes wondered how apologetic women are about so many things in our lives and are constantly trying to justify the way we are and the way we behave? We’re always trying so hard to live up to societal expectations and even to expectations of people around us. All the time!
Somewhere down the road - or right from the beginning - we’ve all been victims of “please-o-mania” in some form or the other, and we’re the ones who’ve suffered the most because of it. Do we try or live up to societal expectations or do we follow our hearts?
So why exactly do we get apologetic and justify who we are?