Life at Crossroads - Finding Meaning and Purpose After 40

Do you ladies remember being 18? Right after we finished our high school examination, we felt this feeling of - trepidation? - that made us feel like we’re standing at crossroads.
Before that point, we’d been told umpteen times that this is a crucial point in our lives where we’d have to take a major decision as far as our career/professional lives are concerned - doctor, engineer, or any other higher education in fields that were usually chosen by our parents or even preparing ourselves for getting married.

We had known that life was about to change its course. There was a sense of of premonition and excitement in the air!

Starting Over After Life’s Happened
Fast forward to our 40s.

Our children are growing up, some are about to or have left home for their further studies. Some are still at home but very busy with their own lives and don’t need their moms the way they used to before.

Some of us have reached the zenith of our careers, some of us are getting the feeling that we have more to offer than being full-time homemakers.
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Some of us want to try out something absolutely different career-wise and are willing to suffer a pay cut to do something that’s more fulfilling. Some of us want to explore our creative side while some just want to take a break from things for a while. In short, we are standing at crossroads in our lives once again.

Largely speaking, there IS a general sense of confusion in us women in our 40s - if we have the courage to admit it.

Change or Upheaval?

Many of us are looking for a change, if not an upheaval. Some of us want to have full nests again and we get pets for ourselves. Some of us are buying holiday homes and doing them up like we did up our first homes. Some of us are remodeling our houses, while others are poring over travel sites and planning the next big holidays.

There are some who are trying out new activities and hobbies that we never had time for in our earlier, busier lives, like learning an instrument, a new language or even taking up sports. There are some enterprising sisters out there who start their own businesses, online or offline.

​Finding Meaning. Finding Purpose. Getting “Social”.

The truth is, we’re looking for a change and a renewed sense of purpose, that carries a bigger sense of fulfillment and accomplishment not overshadowed by our umpteen household responsibilities. At the same time, we have a bit more time on our hands and in some cases, some saved up money in our bank accounts. We’re definitely more prepared to take more risks.

With many of us, the need for validation has also risen - which is a good thing. It’s about time we learned to ask for appreciation for our hard work and support! ​

​Social media comes in here to help us in fulfilling this need. Have you ever posted pictures of any of these things?

• Pictures of meals you’ve cooked
• Gardens you’ve grown and tended
• Houses and homes you’ve decorated
• The new poem/story you’ve written
• Pictures of yourself in your new outfits with the sexy new make-up
• Even the new body you’ve been working on

​No, it’s not a show-off thing as most would label in a hurry. It feels good to be validated, plain and simple.

The Far End of the Spectrum
But you know, there’s another end of this spectrum too, because no two people have exactly the same circumstances. So many women know that they won’t be able to take any new roads owing to circumstances, so they get frustrated and disgruntled with life. This leads to an anger and deep resentment building up inside us and at times we fall into depression.

The anger and resentment are critical warning signs to stop and look at ourselves closely. Very closely.

All said and done, us women in our 40s have reached an age when we are so much wiser because of our experiences. No matter which road we take, we should first take some time off and delve deep inside ourselves to begin with.

This is the time to get in touch with your inner self and its needs. Don’t even, for a second, think of what others have to say about your calling or your new-found passion or even your need to sit quietly and ruminate.  

However you decide to move forward from here, only promise to be good to yourself and enjoy your life. You’ve earned it.

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