THE SAFE-ZONED OLDER WOMAN

A few months ago at a class reunion, I informed my friends that I’d be living away from home because I was exploring new work options. Instantly, I could feel all eyes on me. 

No questions were asked and yet I could sense I was doing something that was not considered “normal”. A friend who doesn’t believe in mincing words, then came up with something that made me gasp inwardly. 

“Well!” she exclaimed. “At this age, our hubbies don’t have to worry about their wives running away with someone else. Who the hell is gonna even want to touch us!” 

Collective laughter ensued and the topic was forgotten. ​

Wait, what? Who said we can be "safe-zoned" because we’ve grown older? 

After hearing that from me friend, I just couldn’t get rid of the thought that started nagging me in the back of my mind. 

“Officially Untouchable” seems to be the general verdict, but for god’s sake, who sanctioned it? 

Who said that as women in our 40s, we’re finished with our lives, our sexuality, our desirability? Can just a number begin to define us and our feelings? ​

Are we supposed to stop feeling certain things just because we’ve crossed over to the big 4-0 and clamp down on urges and desires? Just because some people think we’re no longer desirable?

I don’t think so.

What or who defines our “desirability factor”?

First of all - what on earth is desirability factor? Is age the only thing that has the right to make us feel desirable or not? And wait a minute! Desirable for whom?

The only answer to this question is: Your Own Self. That’s all that matters at this point of time.  At ANY point of time.

Have you ever thought why there needs to be a man in the picture for us to be able to define ourselves as desirable or undesirable?


No, we surely don’t need a man to tell us how we should feel and at what age we should feel it.

Love yourself the way you are!

Love yourself the way you are! In the last decade, perhaps no other words have been repeated so often to women; but they’re so powerful when we abide by them!

So when you’re beginning to have doubts about your desirability factor, just look at yourself and love that beautiful you. You’ve powered through your life with grace, dignity, grit, and sheer love - no one can take that away from you, least of all yourself.

Pour yourself a glass of wine/orange juice/water whatever and say cheers to our sisterhood over 40! 

You deserve every bit of the love and attention you seek - but it’s got to come from yourself first!

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